I rushed home last night from work to change into soccer gear, grab Thing 1, and head off to the soccer field where I coach her team. On the way down the driveway, I noticed a Coke can in the small garden that we have around our mailbox. Kind of already knowing the answer, I asked Thing 1 if she knew how it got there.
T1: Chelsea left it there. (Chelsea is the eldest of three girls who live across the street.....whose name should also be Bumpus, as they also need to live far in the country, with no neighbors).
Me: Did you ask her to throw it in the garbage?
T1: Yes, but she wouldn't do it.
Me: Would it embarrass you if I took the Coke can tomorrow morning to the bus stop and handed it to her and made her throw it away when she got to school?
Me: OK, consider it done then.
I left the can there, planning on picking it up this morning and handing it to this littering bumpkin, but my wife saw it last night and threw it away. However, a point still needed to be made, as this was not the first time they have left garbage in my front yard. Her sister left a can of Dr. Pepper there a few weeks ago. I knew it was her, because I saw that she had opened the top very slightly and was sipping it through the crack, and squeezing the can as she went. A can with this exact description was later found in my yard.
This morning, I walked across the street to where the bus stop is, and called for Chelsea.
Me: Did you leave an empty Coke can in my garden?
Chelsea: (obviously thinking quickly) *shakes head no*
Me: Everyone saw you leave it there (by everyone, I mean she was ratted out by my daughter)
Chelsea: Continues shaking head no.
Chelsea's sister: Yeah, I saw you leave it there last night, don't tell no lies, Chelsea! (I do believe that thump you heard was the bus running over Chelsea...both axels).
Me: If you have garbage, I have garbage cans, toss it out there. Otherwise, next time you or your sisters leave trash in my front yard, I'm carrying it across the street and leaving it in your front yard, and then I'm telling your parents why it's there. Understand?
All three sisters nodded their understanding.
I relish the day when I get to walk across the street, hand their white trash mom a bag of garbage, and tell her, "I believe this belongs to you, your daughters left it in my yard."