Friday, April 17, 2009

If You've Got The Time, We've Got The Beer

My in-laws were in town last week, visiting us during Spring Break. My FIL, for someone from Wisconsin, does not drink all that much. I probably couldn't get drunk on what he's had to drink for the last year.

One of the bonuses of them visiting is that my MIL brings me beer from the Midwest that would otherwise be unavailable here in Atlanta. In this case, she brought me a six pack of Leinenkugel 1888 Bock.

During their visit, my FIL decided he wanted a beer. Rather than asking for one of mine, he went out and got some. He has an amazing knack for buying beer that I wouldn't pour on/in myself if I was on fire. Last week was no exception. When I opened my beer fridge, there was an 8 pack (???....an 8 pack?) of Miller High Life.

Stubbies.

The cutest little 7 ounce bottles filled with urine-colored beer you've ever seen.

On Monday, they drove back home. When I next opened my beer fridge, there on the middle shelf was....an 8 pack of Miller High Life stubbies, with exactly one slot missing. He bought an 8 pack, and drank one 7 ounce beer.

What the hell am I going to do with 7 Miller High Life stubbies? Especially now that my neighbor across the street, to whom I could always pawn my FIL's cheap beer that he left behind, is now a devoted attendee of a weekly AA meeting.

16 comments:

  1. What about the family Bumpus? Would they drink it or is that the neighbour now on the wagon?

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  2. Wait until somebody catches fire and then use the beer to put them out!

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  3. Christ, 7oz stubs? In Straya only Godawful vat-brewed commercial slop like VB or Tooheys Blue (equivalents of Miller Lite) comes in what we call 'throwdowns'. Bought by people too cheap to pay more than 20-25 bucks for a carton of beers. There are only two reasons for the continued existence of the throwdown: they're small enough to not go warm when drinking in extreme heat, and the tiny bottle makes you look like some form of demented hairy-knuckled giant when you drink them.

    Keep them for after-sport (or even after-heavy-home-renovation) beers when any old shite, so long as it's cold and sharp, does the job.

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  4. It's some kind of topsy turvy land Dr Yobbo. Not only 7oz stubbies, but 8 packs?

    Everyone know beer comes in 6 packs, or multiples thereof up to a slab. Even the 30 can block is an abomination!

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  5. I thought all beer was urine-coloured.

    As an aside, my brother has just been up for a visit, and was mentioning the beer he’d been drinking while on his skiing holiday in Austria the previous week. He should have been speaking to you – his words were meaningless to me, whose love of any kind of alcohol is even lower than that of your father-in-law.

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  6. I'll take the Millers! ;D I like Miller's 64 cal beer, too, lol.

    You should try Bell's Oberon (from my hometown, Kalamazoo). That is actually very excellent beer.

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  7. give them to the missus to wash her hair in - apparently its good for it. or something. I drink mine

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  8. Lou, I try to avoid the Bumpus family, although I could just leave the beer on their enormously large front deck at night.

    Stu, I like the way you think....I might even proactively set someone on fire for that purpose.

    Yobbo, Naut, I am appalled.....divisions of eighths are ONLY for subdividing inches....NEVER beer. It's an abomination of both Metric AND English measuring. Please note, an 8 pack is NOT a standard US measurement of beer containers. Don't think less of us, please.

    Simon...watch "The Quiet Man," one of only a few watchable John Wayne films. Sean Thornton walks into the pub and says, "I'll have one of them black beers," and the Paddy bartender says, "ahh, yes, The Porter!" You're English, man, you should know by default that true beer should not look like urine.

    Jenny, give me your address, I'll send you 6 bottles of Miller High Life stubbies (I drank one last night while writing this piece). And for the love of God MILLER 64 IS NOT BEER. Bell's Oberon, however, is...their Two-Hearted is also very good.

    Uamada, I don't think I'd want to be near hair that smelled like High Life.

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  9. Haha. True enough – though it does of course depend on the colour of your urine.

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  10. If your piss comes out the same color as porter, stout, or ever a good India pale ale, one should seek medical attention.

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  11. You don't get Leinie's down there? I rather like the brew from Chippewa Falls.

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  12. We get Leinie'. But not 1889 Bock. I think it's Leinie's way of saying, "if Shiner can pull off a bock that's not actually a bock, I don't see why we can't do it either."

    I got a friend addicted to their Honey Weiss, one week before it stopped getting sold in Atlanta due to the change in season.

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  13. I'll have to check out the 1888 bock, I'm not one for the honeyweiss but I'll try this.
    Just had Summit Maibock over the weekend, seasonal and not bad.......

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  14. The Champagne of beers, also affectionately called "Bobbys" in honor of NASCAR great Bobby Allison, is an excellent beer after cutting the grass in the middle of the hottest summer heat wave ever. The only two other acceptable times to use it are: The morning after a major bender when you have to crawl to the fridge to get some OJ only to find the only consumable liquid is a Miller, and of course to boil brats in (with butter and onions).

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