Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Commuter of the Day 4/1/2009: FTW!

Today's douchenozzle with a personalized license plate was in one of those Acura crossover vehicles and the plate said:


I'm willing to bet the driver was one of those asshole youth baseball coaches who wears the complete baseball uniform (including tight pants, jersey, hat, and cleats), and is constantly yelling at his kids to give 110%, and other such cliches (note, when coaching soccer, I wear soccer gear, but I'm out there on the field showing the kids what to do....this is hard to do with khakis and polo shirt).

Or, it's one of those douchenozzle amateur slow-pitch adult softball players who loves it when his bar team is playing a much weaker church team, and they run up the score because score differential is used as a tiebreaker (sorry, having flashbacks there... at least my groin muscle isn't having memory pain as well).


  1. PLAY2TIE would be a funny vanity plate.

  2. Yall get 8 characters??? No fair!

    I witnessed such a coach at last Saturday's soccer match. His voice was so loud and annoying that I actually remembered him from LAST season (he wasn't even playing my kids' teams; he was on the next field over).

    I will never get this out of my head, a nasally Boston twang minus the accent (how he managed that, I don't know, but I swear it's possible): "Come on, Eileen! Come ON, Eileen!! COME ON, Eileen!!! COMEONEILEENCOMEONEILEENCOMEONEILEEEEEEEEEEEEN"

    Poor Eileen.

  3. How do you see these all the time?I rarely see them. Fucking ATL

  4. lunamor could you just not get the song out of your head after that?

  5. Steve- send me your email address to I don't think there is anyway to send a PM on here so I don't know how else to get it.

  6. It’s more likely he’s an addict to online game-playing. Or possibly someone struggling to come to terms with a gambling addiction.

  7. Why oh why do people have to advertise their achilles heel on a license plate?

  8. Play to win is better than my motto which is play to injury someone, preferrably on the other team.

    It's a bit of a long motto, so I don't use it very much and can't fit it on a licence plate.

  9. "Play to participate, make friends and get exercise" wouldn't have fitted anyway.

    DUCHNOZL would have, though. And would have been more appropriate.

  10. "baseball coaches who wears the complete baseball uniform " - I did LOL. I reckon you're on the money

  11. That's a part of baseball I could never stomach...the coaches wear the complete uniform during the game (when I played, the coach might've had a t-shirt). It's not like they're out there on the field playing the game.

  12. I saw Collingwood play at Victoria Park one day (Collingwood's old suburban home ground) and there was an approx 20 yr old guy in the crowd dressed from head to toe in collingwood gear. Boots, socks, shorts and jumper.

    The only piece of non-AFL approved gear he had on was the set of fangs in his mouth!

  13. I wonder why is it that the universe hates Collingwood fans so much...
    Presumably he was hoping for a run. Given the timing I'm guessing it was during their long premiership drought so he couldn't have been far away from one.

  14. Ian, ties are like kissing your sister. Which I'm guessing "PLAY2WIN" does on his free time.

    Luna, maybe that guy has Tourette's, and that's the phrase he yells...."BULLSHIT....COME ON EILLEEN. COME ON EILLEEN. BULLSHIT." Or, he just really loves Dexy's Midnight Runner.

    Indy, maybe it's because North Carolinians aren't creative enough?

    Kona, give your next child that name.

    Simon, that plate does have "FPS Addict" written all over it. If you see him the next time you're online killing Nazis, shoot him, even if he's on your side.

    Nat, Mankind has, strangely enough, never been shy about exposing our heels. Which is why you still see police officers getting arrested for picking up 13 year old girls on the internet, when they should know better.

    Naut, go with PTISPOTOT. Or, if that's too long, PISSPOT. Don't worry, I'll get it.

    Dr, unfortunately the License Plate Nazis also have censors, so they would ban such a plate. They didn't approve of me trying to get FCKRNGRS or FCKAVERY (you'll have to go read Dr. Yobbo's latest entry to figure out what I'm saying).

    Naut, anything more than the jersey, if you're a fan, is out of bounds. Maybe a hat, but I avoid a hat AND the jersey, otherwise you look like a sycophantic tool.