Monday, April 6, 2009

The Beauty and Comedy of Nature

On Saturday, we went to an Easter Egg Hunt sponsored by the City of Acworth (a neighboring city) and a local church. Hunt is to be used was in a lakeside park (along Lake Acworth), with a fenced-off area, with thousands of plastic Easter eggs scattered about the field, and at the appointed time, broken down by age group, the fence was dropped by volunteers and kids stormed the field, snatching as many eggs as they could. The only reason we went onto the field with Thing 2 is because we knew some of those parents would get a little overzealous. I was basically the Marty McSorley to Thing 2's Wayne Gretzky (I refuse to link any video of Gretzky, because he was such a bitch, and his wife is probably banging Sean Avery).

The highlight of this event was, after the 5 And Unders were done (which Thing 2 was part of), they cleared the field, and a helicopter flew in and someone dressed as the Easter Bunny dropped about 3 Hefty bags full of eggs all over the field, in addition to about another thousand eggs placed by volunteers. This was for the older kids (like Thing 1).

However, the highlight for me was looking up and seeing a hawk. Unlike the lyrics from "Oklahoma," this hawk (which is pretty much one of my favorite raptors, right behind the Osprey...which can dive underwater for God's sake) was not making lazy circles in the sky. It was muscling across the air, with a purpose, dominating the sky above the park and flying over the neighboring beach and heading towards a stand of trees. As it flew over the beach, it did something decided to open its bomb bay doors, so to speak. That's right, it crapped a load of white bird poop from about 100 feet in the air as it soared over the beach. Of course, it did this right as I pointed out this majestic bird to my kids, so they got to see nature in action.

An hour later, with the Easter egg hunts over, and my kids' Easter basket full of about 20 plastic eggs full of crappy little plastic toys and fake tattoos (apparently this church was too cheap to spring for candy), we had to walk past this beach to get to the car. And there, out on the sand, approximately where I saw this hawk take a dump, were about 2 dozen kids playing in the sand, building sand castles, running around barefoot, and otherwise having a good time, ignorant of the fact that at least one of them was stepping on bird poop.

As Ferris Bueller would say, "life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."


  1. Janet Jones is smoking hot (both Flamingo Kid and American Anthem, sans cheesy floor routine music guy) and I have become a fan of the Bald Eagle since moving to Sconnie. Big ass kicking birds.

  2. And "Hot for Teacher" music video too!

  3. Janet Jones is the only reason the David Lee Roth years of Van Halen did not suck (outside of "Runnin' With the Devil" and "Eruption").

    If you like bald eagles, go here next time you're near Minocqua:

    And Wayne Gretzky is an ass clown. That just had to be said. Oh, and American Anthem sucked. It's so bad, IMDB doesn't publish any quotes from the movie. How do I know? I checked, because I wanted to see if one cheesy quote from that movie is the one I'm thinking of (one that every 9th grade girl I knew repeated for about a year and then sighed about).

    Fucking Wayne Gretzky.

  4. Being English and from over the sea, who is Wayne Gretzky?

    We have the great Easter egg hunt next weekend with the kids which should be fun except my seven year old is scared stiff of the Easter bunny for some reason!

  5. Oh man...I thought you were about to tell us the bird got minced in the chopper's rotars!

  6. Nat, i thought he was going to tell us the bird nailed one of the kids mid egg hunt.

  7. I thought he was going to tell us that the 'hawk ate my baby'

  8. That sounds pretty cool.

    Not as cool as say, a 6 blade razor, but that dream has been dashed ever since you went on about fearing the Fusion would sever someone's jugular.


  9. Mr Stu - as I understand it Gretsky was the Don Bradman of ice hockey - record breakingly brilliant, lauded by the media and fans, secretly hated by everyone else.

    Saw a few seconds of NHL on one of the sports highlights shows here (usually they show the fights) and sure enough, here comes the Bruins' goalie looking pretty pissed off charging out of the net towards someone in a Rangers shirt. I wonder if that's... Yup. The Fahhhshunista, making friends and influencing people.

  10. Dude, HE HIT THE FUCKING GOALIE FROM BEHIND! DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK! WHILE THE GOALIE WAS STRETCHING!!! Sean Fucking Avery is lucky the entire Bruins bench didn't hit the ice and beat him to fucking death with their sticks.

    Lucky for Avery, the Bruins, while a very talented team, have more than their fair share of pussies. And, they might've been looking at a puck bunny with big tits in the front row (Avery's sister, for example).

    Stu, Yobbo's right. Gretzky is the greatest forward to ever play the game of hockey. There is no debate. Unfortunately for him, in his youth he once called my team, the Devils, "a Mickey Mouse organization," so New Jersey was one of the few places he would play where he got booed. That's what you get for being an asshole, even when you're a kid.

    Tony, God I wish.....that would've been awesome.

    Lermontov, this isn't Australia. Hawks don't eat babies here. But if they did, I want Meryl Streep playing the mom. "Dang ol' hawk done ate my babeeeee!"

    Luna, I've been a Fusion customer for over 3 years now, it is simply the Best. Razor. Evar.

    Nat...that would've warranted belting out "Circle of Life" from the Lion King. Helicopters are almost at the top of the food chain, slightly below surface-to-air missiles.