I wonder how that conversation goes down, when the Fedex guy is dropping off/picking up at the UPS store. Is it like in the Warner Bros. cartoon where the sheepdog and the wolf both clock in, greet each other politely, and then spend the next day trying to kill one another?
Or is it short and sweet?
UPS Guy: (nods to Fedex guy) Fucker.
Fedex Guy (nodding back) Fucker.
UPS Guy: See you tomorrow.
Fedex Guy: Rot in hell.
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ReplyDeleteLet's try that again.
ReplyDeleteFEDEX guy is about to dump the clutch and perform a massive burnout on their forecourt. 'What can Brown do for THIS, MOTHERFUCKER????'
Btw congrats on your lads stuffing the Spanish. Hereafter they will respect your authoritah.
Ha! That is gold!
ReplyDeleteIf FedEx is delivering to UPS, then I recommend shipping packages via FedEx as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's the old barbershop conundrum: There are two barbershops in town. One is shabby, dirty, and run by a barber with a shoddy haircut. The other is neat, orderly, and the barber is perfectly coiffed. Which do you go to?
Love the dialogue. You are too funny.
ReplyDeleteAbout 7 years ago my boss was having an affair with our FedEx guy. A couple of times she actually jumped in that truck and left work in the middle of the day with him. Conversation:
ReplyDeleteFedex Guy: Aren't you going to get fired?
My boss:Nah, everyone knows I'm a whore.
Not sure if they exist outside the US, but the UPS Store used to be Mailboxes Etc. A do-all shipping store chain (copying, passport photos, shipping, post office boxes, etc). The UPS Store will ship a package with whomever you tell them to.
ReplyDeleteBut, I would love to see the Fedex guy burn donuts in front of the UPS store. And the Hallmark store, and the Sears service center 2 shops down.
YD, I would go to the shabby barber. A barber can't likely cut his own hair, so you go to the person who obviously did his work. Right? Right?
Heidi, not having to worry about subtlety makes life so much easier. That way, you don't have to pretend you're hiking the Appalachian Trail while in reality you're flying to Argentina to meet up with your mistress (for those not familiar, the governor of the neighboring state of South Carolina did just that).
Correct, young padawan.
ReplyDeleteI have the same rule for picking Chinese restaurants. The ones that look like they're treading with e Coli always seem to have the best food.
ReplyDeleteThey have the tastiest e Coli too.
ReplyDelete