Friday, June 5, 2009

Karma Police

This entry is not about my love for Radiohead (to be honest, I'm not really a fan, and by that I mean I change the station when one of their songs comes on the radio).

This is about a commuter (big surprise, eh?). A guy was absolutely riding my ass in a 25mph zone on the way to work today, through downtown Kennesaw GA, which is a business area.

I had to make a left-hand turn at one point, but where I was, the left-hand turn lane had not yet started. Basically, double-yellow lines, thus it's a no-no to cross them. The left-turn lane was maybe 50 yards ahead. Unfortunately, it was inaccessible due to the traffic trying to get through that particular light, until it turned green and cars were able to inch up.

The guy riding my ass (who had a rather large handicapped parking permit hanging from his rearview mirror) lost patience and crossed the double-yellow and drove up to the left-turn lane. This kind of pissed me off, because I needed to make that left as well, so now this assclown who by all rights should have still been behind me was now in front of me, all because I was following traffic rules, and he was being a dick.

However, unbeknownst to him, there was a cop sitting in the parking lot of the cheese cake bakery just to our right. How he did notice this I have no idea, because the cop was all of about 20 feet from us, watching traffic and drinking coffee. The cop pulled up to the driveway that let out onto the road (traffic was moving, so I let him in front of me), and he pulled up, crossed the double-yellow, and pulled in behind the impatient disabled man and hit his blue lights.

The road the guy was turning onto goes over a set of railroad tracks, and at that point a train came through, putting a red light on the left turn lane. So, I stayed in the lane I was in to go down to a later point where I could cross the tracks instead of using this intersection and getting caught by the train. The guy had nowhere to go, so the cop got out right there to write him a ticket. So there I drove, straight, while passing the impatient disabled man who was going to get a ticket for being a douchebag. My window was down. As I passed him, I am not ashamed to admit, I gave him the "You're #1" sign and said, "Hahhh, fuuuuckerrrrr!"


  1. Ahhh the sweet smell of vindication in the morning :-)

  2. Good. I FUCKING HATE TAILFUCKINGGATERS. Had one yesterday who had to slam on brakes when I stopped at a red light. I could see him in my rearview mirror and could tell he was totally pissed...AT ME. I gave him the middle one. When the light changed, he backed off about three car lengths.

  3. Forgot my main comment---I never seem to see the police, Karma or otherwise, in these situations, so I have to rely on my middle finger.

  4. Good story. You are always entertaining, to say the least.

  5. Disabled people. They're total bastards. It's all that arguing on the internet they do.

    Seriously though - karma getsquares are sweet, sweet justice.

  6. Ha ha, I can't really comment on this. I had to delete my first comment it was so politically incorrect.

  7. My father in law calls handicapped parking spaces "cripple holes."

    OK, now that we broke the ice, comment away.