Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Dance Recital

This past school year, my younger daughter (Thing 2) took a dance class offered one day a week after school (she was in a 3-year old classroom at her preschool). It was a 45 minute class, and she learned a little ballet and a little tap. The class was taught by a woman who specialized in teaching these classes at preschools in the area, and gave a cut of her fee back to the school. Halfway through the school year, that teacher moved out of the area due to her husband being transferred, so a large local dance school picked up these classes (at the same price thankfully) and the owner of the school came to teach my daughter’s class.

This Saturday was her recital. They did a little ballet number, that was about as good as what you’d expect for kids that age. Some of the kids, like Thing 2, were 4, but there were a few that were in the 2 year old class this year, so they were 2 or 3 (their moms, thinking their kids were excellent dancers already, pushed the school to allow them to dance a year up…which of course totally screwed up the class dynamic, as half the kids could pay attention and do the moves, the other half had the attention span of a kitten).

One of the moms who thought her daughter’s poop doesn’t stink, of course, was quite flustered to find her precious little snowflake in the back row (the teacher put the kids who could do the performance in the front). This mom did nothing but bitch and complain all year long, about everything from the dance class, to her daughter catching cold and flu from the school, to everything in between. It was very funny to see the program (full color, which we had to pay $5 to get), with Thing 2’s name in there, and her last name was screwed up…..they left the second half of her last name off (it’s a 3-syllable name, they only got the first 2). Well, that wasn’t so funny, what WAS funny was that our complete last name was transposed onto the girl with the annoying mother, so instead of it being “Alex Whatever,” it said “Alex Same Last Name As Steve.” That actually made it worth it. Sure, we got robbed, but this woman got even more burned. Sucker.

The theme of the recital was 80’s music, so there was a lot of neon, lots of dancing to Michael Jackson, Madonna, and other 80’s hits. The intro was a compilation of different 80’s songs, the bulk of which were right off the soundtrack for “Flashdance,” that was performed by some of the older students, most of whom were probably born between 1991 and 1997. So, it’s safe to say that most of those kids have no clue what “Flashdance” was about. However, I can assure you every parent in the audience whose daughter was NOT part of that ensemble turned to the person next to them and said, “hey, isn’t this from a movie about a stripper?”

Or was that just me?


  1. W–ell, she wasn’t a stripper, was she? Unless my memory is failing me more than usual. I believe the expression is ‘exotic dancer’.

    Of course I may have seen the expurgated version.

  2. You realise that everyone is going to think crazy lady is your ex-wife now and probably understand why she is an ex.

  3. Enjoy those recitals anyway. The kids are only young the one time.

    There's always that 10% of parents who think their kid will be the next Mantle, or Te Kanawa, or Baryshnikov, and let everyone know it. Maybe the kid will, but more likely not, so enjoy their performance and let the child have some fun.

  4. Yup YD - they're almost always the ones who made a complete bollocks of their own lives, through no fault of their own of course...

    This sounds like a particular echelon of hell which I am grovellingly thankful I will never have to endure. Unless my lads want to take up dancing. In which case I will have a problem.

  5. Yobbo...trust me on this, you will have no problem. If they are straight, they will have to beat the women off with a stick. And if they're gay, well, at least they are in a career where they will likely find a committed life partner.

    Naut,you are right, people might assume that. Fortunately, we are no relation, but that would certainly make for some interesting stories. I'll have to spread rumors.....

    Simon, you could be right, but let's put it this way, she wore little clothing, and danced in front of men. It's semantics. I think. Did I use that word properly?

    YD, I loved the recital, and enjoyed seeing my girl out there. And, for the most part, I enjoyed most of the recital. I've sat through these before with Thing 1, and this was one of the better ones (I could be tortured in Abu Graibh, and would probably be able to suffer through it if there was 80's music in the background).

  6. I'm certain that it wasn't just you!

    Tough to beat some neon and 80's music - although having dancers about 18 years older and weren't blood relatives would be a start!