Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A Conversation With the Dental Hygienist

Yesterday, I visited the dentist for a scheduled teeth cleaning. This was accomplished using what is basically a small pressure washer. And suction. Lots of suction.

The hygienist looked at me funny, and said, "You know who you look like upside down (she was sitting sort of behind me, so her view of me was upside down)? You look like the guy from Sixteen Candles, Jake."

I responded, "I don't remember him being upside down in that movie. Anthony Michael Hall, under the glass table, yes, but not Jake."

I am rarely told I look like any celebrities, but Jake Ryan is a first. Of course, according to IMDB he hasn't been in anything since 1991 (I was half expecting to see a list of soft-core porn films), so calling him a celebrity might be a stretch.

25 comments:

  1. It’s not that she said that you looked like a particular actor, it’s that she said you looked like him upside down. It makes me want to question what psychotropic drugs are available to dental hygienists.

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  2. I always thought you looked like Donger hanging upside down.

    Those were the good ole' days...when we shared bunk beds and Grandpa Fred stunk up the bathroom.

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  3. Further proof that dental hygienists are simply discharged mental patients.

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  4. And, apparently, sadists.

    Halfway through the procedure, I could feel one solitary tear roll down my cheek, like that Indian in the anti-pollution commercials in the 70's (Kona will know the one I'm talking about).

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  5. Um, I know what you're talking about too. I'm not MUCH younger than you. Just enough to brag about.

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  6. Yet still old enough to remember pop culture. Which puts you into the age window associated with gray hair and chin hairs.

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  7. Chin hairs. Solid.

    I remember that one...always came on during "CHiPs". I so wished Ponch would have kicked that crying bitches ass.

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  8. i remember the crying indian.

    wasn't there a post on JS back in the day about you looking like him?? I SWEAR there was!!

    no more yanky the wanky.. donger need food!

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  9. *strokes her one chin hair that isn't quite long enough to pluck yet*

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  10. Even we Australasians are across this, the weeping Indian was parodied in one of the Waynes World movies (probably 2, think it was a post-credits scene with them cleaning up after Waynestock).

    There's probably a dental hygienists celeb website full of upside down celeb photos.

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  11. Everything you learned about Aurora Illinois from Wayne's World is 1000% true. Trust me on this.

    Being compared to Jake Ryan is not the oddest "celebrity comparison" I've received lately. I have an even better one which I'll write about tomorrow.

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  12. I'm not familiar with weeping Indians - but I like the concept!

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  13. This Indian wasn't weeping because he was taken to the woodshed in a Test match. He was crying because he was canoeing, based on the amount of pollution, in the Newark Bay extension.

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  14. I thought we was crying because he was an alcoholic with no future.

    Steve, I could see how she would see that. I wouldn't take it as anything but a compliment. Girls DROOLED over him.

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  15. Indie, of course he had a future...making bajillions working the pit in the Lac du Flambeau Indian Casino.

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  16. Sorry...just wanted to add my two cents. lol I thought that Jake was hot! Just saying! Have a great day!

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  17. For that movie, they came for Jake Ryan, they stayed for Long Duck Dong.

    This just in: Iron Eyes Cody, the Crying Indian, was NOT Native American!!!

    He was SICILIAN!!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying_Indian

    So, instead of being a beloved Native American, he's descended instead from pseudo-Italian gangsters.

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  18. Now we know why he was crying.

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  19. At least no one compared you to Tim Conway and William Devane.

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  20. Yeah, I'd cry too if I woke up and found I was descended from Sicilians.

    I'd then shake it off and murder an informant.

    Ian, I never compared you to Tim Conway.

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  21. Someone did though... I think it was Jill.

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  22. You're right, someone did. I will only take credit for suggesting you could be William Devane's illegitimate son.

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  23. Well, that I can live with. It's thinking that I look like a 70-year old dude that got me depressed.

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  24. Tim Conway is 76. Although he was probably 73-74 when that comparison was made.

    William Devane is 72.

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  25. yeah, that was why I said 70 (figuring Devane was about that age when the comparison was made.)

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