....is hearing a Mexican woman try to describe how a famous Latino pop singer was busted while masturbating in the first class section of a commercial flight to Miami, and is now in jail.
Especially when she doesn't know the word "masturbating," or the PC term "pleasuring himself."
Good friends of ours are from Mexico (he works in IT for a multinational corporation here in Atlanta, and a soccer teammate of mine, she teaches Spanish at the same preschool where my wife works). Their English is very good, but she somehow never learned the words "masturbating," "fapping," "jerking off," etc. So she had to describe it to her husband in Spanish, who then snickered, turned to me, and said, "Ahem.....pleasuring himself," while the wife nodded her head, smiling.
We were on the back deck of a Mexican restaurant late on Saturday, and the song being played was by this singer, and she said, "he's in jail now," and proceeded to struggle with describing WHY he was in jail (mostly because our kids were around, otherwise I'm pretty sure she would've just done the hand motion). Once I got all the details out, I said, "So, this Mexican singer was in first class, commercial flight, and masturbating, with a woman sitting right next to him?"
"Yes," the wife said. "Except he's Puerto Rican, not Mexican." "Ahh," I replied. "That explains it. A Mexican would never do that in first class (the wife shook her head no, agreeing with me). He would be in coach." (the husband nodded his head, agreeing with me).
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Indantatia once explained to me that there is a cultural group regarded as having an even lower status than the Puerto Ricans, but my memory now eludes me. It may have been the Floridians – no doubt she will correct me if I’m wrong.
ReplyDeletelmfao! I love how now matter what group you are in there is always someone lower or whatever. for us okies its the people from arkansas. its a crazy world out there
ReplyDeletePRICELESS!!!
ReplyDeleteSimon, don't tell her I said this, but Puerto Ricans like to walk around saying "at least we're not Mexicans," but what they don't realize is, all Latinos like to say, "at least we're not Puerto Ricans."
ReplyDeleteDrew, Arkansans like to say the same thing about Okies. And Mississippians, of course.
That is the kind of stuff I want to see on America's/Australia's Funniest Home Videos alongside kids wacking adults in the nuts.
ReplyDeletePuerto Ricans masturbating? Trust me, I'm from New Jersey, if you've seen it once you've seen it a million times.
ReplyDeleteLOL - loved the post!
ReplyDeletePuerto Ricans like to walk around saying "at least we're not Mexicans," but what they don't realize is, all Latinos like to say, "at least we're not Puerto Ricans."
ReplyDeleteJust like Victorians and Queenslanders. They're all scum.
LOL - very funny!
ReplyDeleteYobbo, Puerto Ricans aren't necessarily scum, I'm just pointing out what many other Latinos think about them. I'm guessing it's jealousy, since PR's can come freely back and forth to the US without a passport, or hopping a fence in the cover of darkness (mostly because Puerto Rico is part of the US).
ReplyDeletethat's funny as hell.. and i think you nailed it on the head with the cover of darkness hoppping the fence thing..
ReplyDeleteThat's probably it right there. Mexicans, Hondurans, etc, look at Puerto Ricans, sneer, and say, "look at you and your (mostly) clean clothes, and your lack of passport, and how you came here on a plane without going through Customs, with your cheap rum in hand, and you didn't have to work for it."
ReplyDeleteYes, I’d forgotten about Puerto Rica’s relationship with the US. I’m embarrassed to admit I wasn’t aware of it until about five years ago, when I was chatting with a fellow JS member on the subject of ‘the 51st State’ (the name of a film, as you probably know).
ReplyDeleteI was saying how Britain was often referred to – by its own people and in Europe – as being the 51st State (of the US), thanks to its slavish obedience to your noble country in international matters. However the person I was chatting to, born and living in Puerto Rico, thought that the expression was jokingly applied to her country…
Ahem...Puerto Rico is not a country. It's a US Territory, wrested from the hands of Spain in the Spanish American War.
ReplyDeleteThe 51st State is Canada.
Steve - what Dr Yobbo meant was that Victorians and Queenslanders are scum. He's far enough away these days to be objective about such things so its a fair observation.
ReplyDelete51st state? Ahhh shit! I thought Oz was the 51st state and we'd be on easy street for ever more. Oh well, back to invading New Zealand.
We'll consider admitting Oz as the 52nd state, once you embrace American football, learn the "icing" rule in hockey, and send us some decent beer, not the shit you usually export here.
ReplyDeleteSimon- don't feel bad. I forget puerto rico exists too. i tend to lump all the spanish speaking people into one lump.
ReplyDeletePuerto Ricans are Americans. Don't they speak American like the rest of us?
ReplyDelete:sigh: I guess I'll go play by myself in this here corner.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to take Menudo with you.
ReplyDeleteThe band, not the soup.
Wait, the soup is kind of gross too, take that as well. Although that you get to blame on the Mexicans.
Like Indy - I feel marginalised!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, what the hell did Queenslanders do to piss off the rest of Australia? Do you guys have an annual Koala hunt or something?
ReplyDeleteNah - just better looking - bigger and thus frighten them!
ReplyDeletewell its official puerto rico has its own quarter.. hey check out my blog there is a pic of snow you should see
ReplyDeleteThese quarters have not hit the market, because Puerto Ricans are too busy stuffing them as fast as they can get them into the slot machines at the Taj Majal in Atlantic City.
ReplyDeleteSteve QLD is Australia's equivalent of your deep, deep, deep, really deep South. You can hear banjos before you hit the boarder.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm ever lost in the Australian Bush in QLD, and I head didgeridoo music, should I get scared and cover my bum?
ReplyDeleteIs "Dueling Didgeridoos" a love song in QLD?
When you get scared, you cover your bum? Is this a pavlovian response from a supresssed trauma in your childhood?!!!
ReplyDelete"Is "Dueling Didgeridoos" a love song in QLD?"
Not yet - but it probably has legs!
Well, the covering of one's bum would be a defensive mechanism to prevent anal rape.
ReplyDeleteBut, if you've seen "Deliverance," you'd know how well that worked for Ned Beatty.