Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Recipe for Disaster

This is my recipe for disaster:

1. Take 4 pounds of frozen shrimp (tails on), 2 pounds of andouille sausage, a bag of red potatoes, several white onions, and about 8 ears of corn, cut each one in half.

2. Put them into a turkey fryer, with about 3 gallons of water. Cook the potatoes and onions first, then the corn, then thrown in the sausage, and then throw in the shrimp for a couple of minutes.

3. Serve a delicious Low Country shrimp boil to a houseful of guests on a Memorial Day weekend (Sunday). Be sure to have lots of beer, rum, and vodka.

4. On Tuesday evening, remember that you forgot to clean out the turkey fryer. Go to the garage, remove the lid from the fryer, and choke back the vomit that fights its way to the surface as you stare into 3 gallons of murky water with a few onions, a chunk of red potato, and 3 small pieces of sausage.

5. (This is very important) Dump the fetid mess as far from your house as possible, and still be on your property. I suggest this, because you don't want it near your residence, and pouring it into someone's backyard is just wrong. However, if you're right on the property line, and most of it splashes into the next yard, well, accidents happen.

6. Rinse pot out with garden hose outside, before taking in and cleaning with hot water and soap, to avoid coming into contact with rotten sausage residue.


  1. yuck! wow you make me laugh.. btw don't ever have a crab boil and wait till the next day to dispose of said leftovers...

  2. No doubt you have some "crabby" neighbors.

  3. Hey -- that's why I own a dog, mate! Saves such a lot of horror on my part.

  4. Just invite me next time, that way you are unlikely to have any leftovers.

  5. These weren't leftovers, these were spillage between the basket (in which you put the food, then lower it into the boiling water) and the tank.

  6. I did laugh - sounds like something you'd expect to find in a bachelor residence - not in a family home - glad that the women haven't completely civilised you!

  7. ewww. don't know why, but food just really grosses me out after it's past the eating stage. vomit? no problem.. food? ugh!