Monday, May 18, 2009

Commuter of the Day 5/18/2009: Multitasker

This is a Mercedes Benz C320 Kompressor.



As you can see from the photo, the woman driving it clearly has her left hand to her ear, holding a cell phone.

What you can't see, because of the angle at which I held the phone, is in her right hand she is holding some sort of breakfast sandwich. I happened to be driving alongside her for the better part of a half mile, and never once saw either hand touch the steering wheel.

Of course, it could be argued that it wasn't the brightest thing in the world to take a flash photo of a driver who is doubly distracted, as the added distraction could have caused her to swerve. We were on a 4 lane road, right near I-75 (a busy interchange during morning rush hour), so an accident would have crippled the commute from the Northwest suburbs.

But mostly, I was just trying to capture how this woman was driving with no hands, and also how she looked like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

17 comments:

  1. too ugly for that car anyways..

    maybe she was steering it with her 3rd leg.. ewww..

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  2. Or a tentacle of some sort. Maybe she's one of those aliens they keep talking about in the ads for Hulu.

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  3. I was that person the other day. Texting and applying eye shadow...Yeah, I'll admit it

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  4. i've actually put pantyhose on while driving.. dumb. i know.

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  5. You should be able to put them on with one hand (I realize this would take forever, however), but eating and using a cell phone seems to be overkill. Concentrating on both a conversation and nutrition at the same time is a good way to die.

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  6. Having had a motorbike for some years before getting a car, it appalled me how little concentration many car drivers applied to the road. It seemed amazing to me that people could drive a vehicle while carrying out a conversation with their passengers, or even listen to a radio. On a bike you need to observe the road and its surface so carefully you’re reluctant to even glance at the instruments for more than a fraction of a second, at least if you’re travelling at any speed, and particularly on twisting British roads.

    But then I got a car, and before long I was the one eating a sandwich while driving along, or even, God help me, trying to glance at a map (though I soon learned that couldn’t be done).

    Just as a matter of interest, Steve, was she breaking the law? Either explicitly by driving while using a cell phone, or simply for ‘driving without due care and attention’ (as it would be called in the UK)? Or would she have to cause an accident first?

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  7. I must admit that I often smoke/drink/eat, talk on the speaker phone whilst intermittently looking at the open laptop on the passenger seat!

    She is one butt ugly biatch though. Ugly as a hat full of arseholes. Uglier than a deep sea racing mullet. Looks like someone set fire to her face and put it out with a bicycle chain etc

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  8. You don't need hands to drive. Just two muscular legs. Sheesh.

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  9. Once saw a dude with a newspaper on the wheel and eating a muffin. I needed a new car at the time and I nearly rammed him because I figured no insurance company or court is going to blame me when they hear about the paper and muffin.

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  10. Uglier than a hatful of arseholes. Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch. If I had a dog that ugly I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards.

    What were we talking about again?

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  11. personally i'd just drag the bitch out the car and shoot her on the spot... people like this musn't breed

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  12. Simon, I often eat while driving, or drinking coffee. I hear Europeans frown on that more than Americans, and German cars rarely come with cupholders, is that right? And I have looked at maps, but only on open Interstates, where if I did go off the road, worst-case I'd only take out a quarter-acre of corn or soybeans before I stopped. Assuming I made it through the catch fence or guard rail.

    Lerm, never used a computer, that is where I personally draw the line. And yes, she was kind of ugly.

    Nat, never been good at that, although my brother did that a lot. Probably because I was a soccer goalie, so my legs weren't "midfield" strong.

    Naut, I've often wanted to do that. Just to teach the bastard a lesson. One day, maybe. I've never read the paper, although I'll admit to glancing at the sports scores while at a red light.

    Yobbo, we never stay in a straight line on topics here. Ugly is just as interesting as bad drivers.

    Dickbar, you'd have to shoot her, it's not like you can just send them to Georgia or Australia anymore. Maybe banishment to the Orkneys?

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  13. Why do such people qualify for a whip like that?
    Porn star perhaps? did she marry rich?

    Granted the average price of one of those used isn't that bad..but still.

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  14. Or, maybe she's well educated, and has a very good job earning a very nice salary. Mercedes Benz' are extremely common around here.

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  15. I drive "LOOK MA, NO HANDS!" all the time, except I put my hands down near the steering wheel so it LOOKS like I'm handling the wheel, just to fake out people like you!

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  16. I'm sure she'll just live on to stymie "400" at some point in the future when the ham slides off of her croissanwich and burns her no no parts.

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  17. Snowangel, that is a wonderful image in my head, at 66 mph with heads up driving. Yeah Buddy, just like Daytona.

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