Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Commuter of the Day 7/1/2009: This time, it’s personal

This is more of a weekly recap, as there are a couple of drivers that pissed me off to the point of wanting to get out of my car and wail on them.

As I mentioned, I took Thing 2 to go see "Up" on Monday. While coming up on an intersection, trying to get to the theater before the good seats were taken (which proved pointless, as there were only 2 other people in the theater), this guy pulls out of a gas station parking lot in front of me. We had the green light. He SLOWED DOWN approaching the green light. And then, to my unimaginable horror, the light turned yellow. Instead of hitting his gas pedal and flying through the intersection, this dipshit stopped. HE FUCKING STOPPED!!! There were no cars, he was just being a damn Mary. Look, this is no time to be a good "citizen." This is afternoon rush hour, people have places to go! And this was his license plate.

Speech? You want a speech? Fine, I'll give you a speech. Fuck you asshole. Drop dead. Peace out.

And then yesterday, on the way home from work, I was driving through downtown Kennesaw GA, which is a 2 lane road and a 25mph speed limit. The guy right behind me, the asshole on the cell phone, was riding my bumper like you wouldn't believe, pissed that I was going the speed limit (cops patrol that road constantly, so speeding is kind of, there are lots of pedestrians, so speeding is stupid anyway). I heard an ambulance from somewhere. It took about 20 seconds to realize it was behind me, coming towards me. So I do the (legally required) right thing....I pulled to the right.

So what does Asshole behind me do? HE PASSED ME!!! He didn't pull over also, he just whipped right around me, and THEN he pulled to the right. This is like being at the checkout lane at the grocery store, stopping to look at the gum/candy rack, and someone just walking around you putting their groceries on the conveyor belt. The ambulance passed us, and Asshole pulled right back out, in front of me, and went on his merry way, still talking on the cell phone.

Would I have been justified in ramming him?


  1. My husband is a Road Warrior like yourself and I've been hearin' about "The Ramming Car" for like 12 years now. He gets that "Blues Brothers-Mission from God" vibe going whenever he talks about it.

    To answer your question though-I think you would've been totally justified. It would have been a "citizen's arrest" of sorts. The dude's got no respect for someone being rushed to the hospital. He deserves to be rammed and then dragged out of his car and kicked in his ass like 20 times.

  2. Ram him? Screw that, your insurance premimums will go up, you will be inconvienced and punished just for doing the right thing.

    No don't ram him, make proper use of your countries liberal gun laws and shoot the prick dead.

    30 or 40 rounds ought to do it. Then shoot his phone as well.

  3. That's when you need a BT-50 with bull bar, foglights and an airhorn. Eye for eye baby.

  4. The slowing down on the green light and stopping on the yellow would have pissed me off more than the cell phone guy would. Jeez, man, GO already! Those are the type that cause accidents but don't necessarily receive blame for them.

  5. They're everywhere. There's always one.