Friday, September 18, 2009

What's Grosser Than Gross?

Has anyone here ever played this game as a kid? I know it made it further than my hometown, because I knew kids from all around the area, usually at places like Boy Scout camp, school museum trips, etc, where this would be a discussion. It was basically a joke, usually along the lines of the book series "Truly Tasteless Jokes," that would go as follows:

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Falling off the Empire State Building and landing on a bicycle with no seat.

Obviously, this would generate loud groans among the male audience (it was always boys telling these, girls seemed to have too much good sense).

Naturally, the ante would be upped, when someone would say:

Q: What's grosser than that?
A: Halfway down, you catch your eyelid on a hook.

Or:
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Eating a bowl of corn flakes and finding your brother lost his scab collection.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: Kissing your grandmother and she slips you the tongue.

You get the point. In retrospect, it was really a disgusting way to spend the time. For other people, I mean. I have two older brothers, so I had access to all of their dirty joke books (and dirty magazines), so I often had a distinct advantage when playing "What's Grosser Than Gross?" It's kind of one of the things I miss about childhood, sitting around with friends telling dirty jokes. I see my daughter doing the same thing with her friends, talking quietly and laughing, but I have a hard time believing she's telling gross jokes.

In honor of one of my favorite activities of my childhood, I will now play a blog version of What's Grosser than Gross?

Q: What's Grosser than Gross?
A: My Thumbnail:


Q: What's Grosser than That?
A: The Daisy Sour Cream that expired on June 1, 2009, and is still sitting in the work fridge. You can kind of make out where it's starting to turn blue, and get all lumpy. Imagine that on a baked potato!


Enjoy the gross-out session. I would like to say you've been warned, but that would've taken away all the fun.

14 comments:

  1. What's grosser than gross?

    Stapling 100 tree frogs to a telephone pole?

    What's grosser than that?

    Taking them off.

    What's grosser than gross?
    A hundred dead babies in a trash can.
    What's grosser than that?
    One dead baby in a hundred trash cans.

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  2. What's grosser than gross?

    The neighbourhood stray cat crunching on a rat in your backyard. (yes it's ANOTHER cat...not Clayton)

    What's grosser than that?

    Having to clean up the left over tail and spleen.

    What's even grosser than that?

    Hosing the rat vomit off your back patio.

    Fuck I hate cats.

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  3. Er… I think I’ll pass on this one. I’m feeling a little queasy.

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  4. Yeah, what Simon said.





    ...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nat, this requires clarification...is it vomit that came from a rat, or is vomit that came from a cat, that consists mostly of digested rat?

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  6. Well, on the upside, the cat keeps down the rat problem, no?

    Sorry, just trying to find some positive here. I had a kid as a child that would devour most of a field mouse, or rabbit, or squirrel, and then smuggle the rest into the house and leave it for us as a present.

    Or...a warning.

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  7. What I want to know is...why do cats torment me? Evil fuckers.

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  8. By the way..I meant "I had a CAT as a child." The way I wrote it out, it makes it seem like I had a pet baby goat. That ate squirrels.

    Anyway...believe it or not, cats know when you are a cat-hater, and they work all that much harder to be noticed by you. I know a woman who hated cats a decade ago. She's now one of those "cat ladies." Thankfully, she's married, so she hasn't gone the full distance in her illness.

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  9. I had a pet baby goat as a child. I do not remember him eating mice or anything like that but I do remember him eating wood, trash, and dirt as well as whatever we fed him as "goat food."

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  10. Whay grosser.than gross? A.vampire sucking on a bloody tampon!

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  11. Whay grosser.than gross? A.vampire sucking on a bloody tampon!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Whay grosser.than gross? A.vampire sucking on a bloody tampon!

    ReplyDelete