Monday, August 3, 2009

Awkward Theological Conversation

A: I'm doing some volunteer work at XYZ Baptist Church this weekend (that wasn't the actual church name, but there are so many Baptist churches here, I don't really keep track of who's who).

Me: You're Catholic, isn't it a mortal sin to associate with Baptists? (of course, I said this in front of a close friend of both of ours, who is Baptist).

A: Hell, I don't care, I'm probably going to be excommunicated anyway.

Me: What'd you do, bang your sister?

A: No, I'm getting a divorce.

(awkward silence)

Me: Oh.

(more awkward silence)

Me: Well, who HASN'T the Catholic church excommunicated? They did the same thing to my ancestors 500 years ago.

A: You have a point.


  1. I like how you went right for the "banging your sister" angle. I may have guessed that as well.

  2. Subtle as a mallet to the head! True enough, though, I suppose.

  3. You know, in retrospect, I'm not sure if banging your sister is an excommunicable offense.

    I should've said "banging your neighbor's wife and/or ass," but for all I knew, that WAS the cause of the divorce.

  4. I've considered joining the Catholic Church JUST so I can be excommunicated. You gotta figure a thing like that looks good on a writer's curriculum vitae, no?

  5. Dirk, I have to believe that would sell quite a few books. You might also want to consider, upon your excommunication, converting to Islam. The controversy from that should be good for at least a Top 10 on the New York Times Bestseller list.

    And, if you can find some way to write a controversial story about the Virgin Mary, you are gold. GOLD, Jerry!

  6. I don't know who Flinthart is, but I like the cut of his jib, and yours sir.

  7. Flinthart is an Aussie writer who understands how to market a book.

    I just like Catholic jokes.

  8. He was Francis Xavier Flinthart, until he was excommunicated.