A: I'm doing some volunteer work at XYZ Baptist Church this weekend (that wasn't the actual church name, but there are so many Baptist churches here, I don't really keep track of who's who).
Me: You're Catholic, isn't it a mortal sin to associate with Baptists? (of course, I said this in front of a close friend of both of ours, who is Baptist).
A: Hell, I don't care, I'm probably going to be excommunicated anyway.
Me: What'd you do, bang your sister?
A: No, I'm getting a divorce.
(awkward silence)
Me: Oh.
(more awkward silence)
Me: Well, who HASN'T the Catholic church excommunicated? They did the same thing to my ancestors 500 years ago.
A: You have a point.
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I like how you went right for the "banging your sister" angle. I may have guessed that as well.
ReplyDeleteSubtle as a mallet to the head! True enough, though, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteYou know, in retrospect, I'm not sure if banging your sister is an excommunicable offense.
ReplyDeleteI should've said "banging your neighbor's wife and/or ass," but for all I knew, that WAS the cause of the divorce.
I've considered joining the Catholic Church JUST so I can be excommunicated. You gotta figure a thing like that looks good on a writer's curriculum vitae, no?
ReplyDeleteDirk, I have to believe that would sell quite a few books. You might also want to consider, upon your excommunication, converting to Islam. The controversy from that should be good for at least a Top 10 on the New York Times Bestseller list.
ReplyDeleteAnd, if you can find some way to write a controversial story about the Virgin Mary, you are gold. GOLD, Jerry!
I don't know who Flinthart is, but I like the cut of his jib, and yours sir.
ReplyDeleteFlinthart is an Aussie writer who understands how to market a book.
ReplyDeleteI just like Catholic jokes.
You mean Yusuf Flinthart.
ReplyDeleteHe was Francis Xavier Flinthart, until he was excommunicated.
ReplyDelete