The following is a text-message exchange between my younger brother, E, and I. E lives in New York City, so he often witnesses strange and unusual things. Like Ron Howard, for example (he saw him once and texted me about it....I asked him to ask Ron if he's ever going to produce Willow 2).
E: We saw a cat on a leash today, eating grapes. Beat that.
Me: My cat eats lettuce.
E: Put her on a leash, put a bonnet on her, put her in a baby carriage. THEN we'll be impressed. Until then...YAWN!
Me: You never said bonnet and baby carriage, just a leash.
E: I'm saying either/or. This particular cat was on a LEASH.
Me: I can swing the bonnet and baby carriage. Consider it done.
E: Do it, and if you can get a picture without you bleeding, I'll give you a dollar.
Me: I'll get Thing 1 (my 10 year old daughter) right on it.
E: OK, amendment.....NOBODY can bleed.
Me: You're a weasel.
E: You were almost a bad father.
I then realized, I don't believe we have a bonnet in the house. Lots of headwear (hats and such) for baby dolls, but no actual bonnets. So I actually had to sit on the phone with E and negotiate a "headwear item of equal or greater degree of difficulty when putting on a cat" in order to get the dollar, which he agreed to. So, this week, in between soccer practice and demolishing the master bathroom (we're renovating), I will be attempting something completely foolish with the cat. Stay tuned over the next week for photos.